Doctor Whooves: Toothpaste?
By Terrarian Pony Previously in Season 1: Doctor Whooves: My Sister's a Vampire! Part 3 Meanwhile: Vample Scratch and Wolftavia Melody: Blind Betrayal Next: Doctor Whooves: A Rose for Luck Story: Doctor Whooves By Terrarian Pony Season 2: Episode 1 Toothpaste? ... One evening, at the Ponyville dentist, Colgate was waving goodbye to her last costumer. She wiped her brow, deciding she would close up early. Colgate's thought:" Blimey... so much dirty teeth. At least I know little Pinchy keeps her teeth healthy on her own. I used to be happy with this job. Sometimes though, I feel like I'm only here to clean up after those irresponsible ponies. Oh wait, yeah, that's me. Dirty your teeth, just so I can make 'em clean. Brushie, brushie, brushie!" Colgate saw the light emmiting from her saddlebags. She reached into her saddlebags to pull out a strange glowing pocket watch, that had strange symbols on it. She didn't know why, but it was scary to her, yet she was somehow attatched to it. Colgate's thoughts:" And then there is this thing that I still don't know that I should open. It creeps me out everytime I look at it. But I just can't let it go. Like it just feels... part of me somehow. I sometimes think I hear voices coming from it, but I try not to let it bother me, so that I don't sound insane. I want to know what's in it, but at the same time I'm scared of what might come out. I'm so paranoid. Maybe I am insane." Cogate shook her thoughts out of her head, put the little trinket back in her saddlebag, and began to walk home to her wife, Berry Punch, to make sure she wasn't drinking again. Berry has been doing her best to kick her drinking habit, so that she doesn't become a wreck, and end up losing her family. By Colgate's notice, she has been doing very well for herself. When Colgate returned, Berry was sitting with Ruby Pinch assisting her with her homework. Colgate:" Aw, hey guys. I see we're doing well." Berry:" Oh, home so early?" Colgate:" Yeah... let's just say I've had enough for one day. I'm going to get some rest." ... The next morning, Colgate got up, had breakfast, and brushed and flossed her teeth, as usual every morning. She said goodbye to Berry, and little Pinchy, and headed straight to work. However, when she got there, and unlocked the door... the door still didn't open. She pushed as hard as she could without breaking the glass door, the she realized that she hadn't been paying full attention to what was behind the door. Colgate's thoughts:" I'm an idiot." There was a big blue box, just inside the teeth clinic, where the door is supposed to open. Colgate:" How did THAT get THERE?" She peaked through the window to see a peculiar brown stallion, waving some kind of... glowing mechanical wand around. Colgate:" What the... How in Equestria does somepony get into a locked door?" Colgate tapped on the window with a hoof. The stallion didn't even turn around. Colgate:" Breaking and entering, now pretending he doesn't hear me. How bloody rude!" Colgate banged louder. The strange stallion turned, to see the blue unicorn staring angrily at him outside the window. Doctor:" Can I help you?" Colgate:" Oi! How the bloody hay did you get in there?" Doctor:" Mysteries." Colgate facehoofed. Colgate:" Let me re-phrase that. GET YOUR BIG FLANK OUT OF THERE BEFORE I BREAK IN THERE MYSELF AND KICK YOU IN A VERY TENDER AREA YOU TROUBLESOME BLOAK!!!" Doctor:" Oi, you can't just break in here, this is somepony's dentist clinic." Colgate:" Number one: You broke in there... I don't know how! Number two: THIS IS MY DENTIST CLINIC, AND YOU ARE BREAKING AND ENTERING!!!" Doctor:" Okay, just hold on a second." Colgate blinked in suprise. Then her angry face returned. Colgate:" No, not hold on a second! Get out! I want you out of my clinic!" Doctor:" Uh... sorry. But you have a small... tiny... eh... pest problem." Colgate:" Pest? What pests?! I'll have you know that the Ponyville Dentistry is the cleanest dentistry in Equestria. FYI, you insult my workplace, you insult ME!" Doctor:" Sorry, but you have little canites in your dentistry. Also, that's can be debatable." Colgate:" Wha- why you! That's it, I'm comin' in!" Doctor:" NO, NO, WAIT DON'T! The canites!" Colgate:" Eh... the what? Don't you mean canines? Yes, though I am no vet, I do do canine teeth, but I don't see what that has to Doctor:" No, canites. They're tiny invisible critters that latch onto teeth, and chew away at their host's teeth to gain nutrition." Colgate:" Then why are in there?" Doctor:" I'm fulling them by using fake dentures, but even then sooner or later they'll realize that these aren't real and start nawing on my real teeth, so I have to act fast. For your sake do not break through that window. I'm nearly finished." Colgate:" But... wha- canite's? There is no such creature!" Doctor:" They're invisible, you can see them. Now let me finish here." Colgate:" Great... I have a dirty job, cleaning dirty teeth, and now my clinic is having a dirty imaginary pest problem, followed by that, a dirty mad pony, probably doing dirty things to my clean things, and making a dirty mess of my equiptment. I. Have. Had it! You get out there roight now, or I am bringing the authorities, and..." Doctor:" Done!" Colgate:" What?" Doctor:" Yup, I'll be outta your mane now." Colgate:" Wait, what?" Doctor:" Well that's what you want isn't it?" Colgate:" No... I mean, yes... I mean..." WHIIIIRRRR!!! WHIIIRRRR!!! WHIIIRRRR!!! Colgate was speachless. Her horn started itching like mad. Nothing good ever happened when her horn started itching. Colgate:" You know what? I'm just going to pretent that didn't happen. Nope, didn't happen at all. I'm just imagining things." Doctor:" Oh really?" Colgate shreaked, as the same strange stallion came up behind her, eating a cone of ice cream. Colgate:" Wha-... but you were just... I..." Doctor:" You know if you talk to yourself, ponies'll think you're crazy. But don't worry about me, I do all the time. I'm sure you have your reasons." He took another bite of his ice cream. Colgate finally went from angry, to absolutely madder than Changeling Queen herself. Colgate:" That is it! Who are you? Why are you still here? And... and..." Her gaze dropped to the caramel ice cream he was eating. Her eyes widened dramatically, and her ears flopped to her head. Colgate:" Y-you're eating... i-i-ice cream?" Doctor:" Oh. Sorry, did you want some?" Colgate:" Y-you couldn't even bother to at least get vanilla! Do you even know... h-h-how many... c-calories you are eating roight now! Your teeth must be dirtier than dirty itself! It is madness!" Doctor:" Oi, what's this about my teeth? Besides I like caramel." Colgate huffed. Colgate:" You know what? No! I will not let this slide! You are coming with me, roight now!" Colgate telekinetically lifted the Doctor, causing him to drop his ice cream, and started walking into the dentistry with him. Doctor:" Oi, put me down! I thought you didn't even want me in here!" Colgate sat him down in the dentist chair, and told him to stay. Doctor:" Couldn't at least let me finish my ice cream?" Colgate:" Zip it! I've had just about enough of your bloody voice. And I've only just met you." Suddenly, Colgate's horn flashed, and somehow, time stopped all on it's own. Once that happened, she began to clean the Doctor's teeth. Once that was finished, her horn stopped glowing. Doctor:" What in the name of... h-how did you do that?" Colgate:" Time-stopping spell. It's good use for cleaning teeth so the patient sits still." Doctor:" Amazing. You could make time itself stop in place... but for how long exactly?" Colgate:" Oh, you know, just a couple of hours. If I go any further than that, I'll suffer burn-out. Now that that's all settled then, what exactly were you doing in here in the first place?" Doctor:" I told you. I was helping you get rid of a bad vermin, so that the customers that walk in here don't get teeth-eating parasites." Colgate:" Well that is very... generous of you, but I have a business to run. A real business, not some imaginary game that you and your friends made up, if you even have friends." Doctor:" Oi!" Colgate:" Also, it is rude to break into somepony's workplace without permission, so I must ask you to..." She paused for a moment, then shifted her gaze towards the Doctor's cutie mark. Colgate:" An hourglass." Doctor:" What was that?" Colgate:" That hourglass, why do you have that on your flank?" Doctor:" Well that's my cutie mark." Colgate:" No kidding, but... that's... that's the shape of my cutie mark." Colgate looked at her flank, then back at his to see if she was just seeing things. Colgate:" I... I must be going mad. How is it we have the same cutie mark?" Doctor:" What? Some ponies don't have the same cutie mark?" Colgate:" I've heard of ponies having the same cutie mark before, but usually there is always a single difference: color, shape, size... but this one... and mine... wh- who are you?" Doctor:" Oh, pardon me. I'm the Doctor." Colgate:" Doctor? You're a Doctor? Then how is it your mouth can be so outragously bad before I clean it?" Doctor:" I'm not that kind of doctor, and my mouth wasn't that bad?" Colgate:" It doesn't matter. And your teeth were as filthy as a manticore's, and I know because I did a manticore's teeth once by accident." Doctor:" By accident?" Colgate:" It's a really long story. The point is, why an hourglass, how?" Doctor:" Alroight, you caught me. You remember that big blue box that mysteriously disappeared? I'm a time traveler. That is my time machine." Colgate blinked in confusion. Then she narrowed her eyes. Colgate:" What are you playing at?" Doctor:" What do you mean?" Colgate:" Time traveler? You aren't even a unicorn." Doctor:" Don't have to be. I'm a Time Lord, it's my thing." Colgate:" More like boast lord." Doctor:" No, it's my race. We're called Time Lords because we can travel through time and space." Colgate:" Time traveler. Time Lord. Time and space." Doctor:" Yup." Colgate:" You need a therapist." Doctor:" Oh, you don't believe me?" Colgate:" Not a bit." Doctor:" Oh... okay. Okay fine." The Doctor began to walk out of the door. Colgate:" Where are you going?" Doctor:" I'm going to show you that... you are wrong, and I am right as usual." Colgate:" Pfft. Whatever! You're still insane even if you are teling the truth! Weirdo." When it was time, Colgate began to walk home." ... Colgate:" And then he stands there, and lies through his teeth 'I'm a time traveler'. I mean who does that bloak think he's fooling?" Berry:" Wow. Sounds like you've had an interesting day at work. Speaking of which, I managed to get a job today." Colgate's ears perked up at that. Colgate:" Really?" She got up and hugged Berry Punch. Colgate:" Oh Berry, I'm so proud of you. What kind of job is it?" Berry:" I'm working at the Apple farm." Colgate:" The Apple farm? In Sweet Apple Acres? But I thought the Apples had a thing for working on there own." Berry:" Well, they said they needed some help, I was suprised too when I heard it, but it seems like something has been eating the apples lately, and they wanted somepony gaurding the orchard while they are working." Colgate:" Berry that's wonderful, but what about little Pinchy?" Berry:" Oh, they said Pinchy could play around in the apple juicing station, stomping in the apples and what-not." Colgate:" Oh... so in a way, Ruby has got herself a job too." Berry:" Well, technically she's too young to get payed, she just volenteered is all." Colgate:" Roight, I knew that. It sounds like you've had a better day than I have really. I mean, that pony was absolutely crazy." Berry:" He sounds crazy. But I guess if you can stop time, it's possible he's telling the truth." Colgate:" Yeah, but he's an earth pony." Berry raised a brow. Berry:" And?" Colgate blinked in confusion, then realized that she had unintently insulted Berry. Colgate:" Oh... I-I didn't mean anything by it... it just seems... obsured. Earth ponies can't use magic-magic. Or... can they?" Colgate seemed to be lost in thought for a long minute before Berry clopped her hooves together to snap her out of it. Colgate:" Huh? Oh, sorry. Yeah, I just... um... sorry." Berry:" Colgate, are you feeling alright? Lately, you've looked more stressed than I was when I was drunk." Colgate:" I... I just..." Berry:" Maybe you should take some time off, and be with your family. My first day doesn't start 'til next monday, so we'll have plenty of time together." Colgate:" I... ... you're roight. I need to take a break from this for a while. My back has been killing me, and I've just been feeling so... stressed out lately. But you're roight, I need to spend time with ponies I love." Berry:" There you go. Don't overwork yourself. I'm sure you'll be relaxed in no time at all." ... The next day, Colgate and Berry decided to go to the hay burger place. It wasn't the healthiest thing in the world, but Berry insisted that Colgate enjoy at least a small portion of unhealthiness. When they made their order, and went to sit down at their assigned table, there was a pony already sitting there holding a news paper, and wearing a blue top hat. When he lowered his news paper, it was the Doctor. Doctor:" Didn't expect, to see me here? Well I expected you." Colgate:" Y-you again!?" Doctor:" That's roight, time machine." Berry:" Is that the pony you were talking about?" Colgate:" Yes, and I would like it if you got out of our spot." Doctor:" Your spot?" Colgate:" Yes. This restaurant has an assigned seating system. You get a number, and you sit down. Our number is four. If we are not sitting at number four when our food arrives we don't get our food." Doctor:" Oh, well then in that case I'll make this quick and simple. Five minutes from now, that pink filly with the purple mane over there will spill her beverage. Three minutes after that, that stallion's ketchup bottle will make a farting sound, and just before you leave, the waiter will trip on a wet floor, and a hay burger will fall, and splat on your head. I need to go now, because I'm about to spying on you, and I really can't be hear when that happens, because timey wimey, wibbley wobbley stuff. Good day to you ma'am. I hope you enjoy your meal." The Doctor trotted off, out the door, and Colgate huffed, but Berry put a relaxing hoof on her shoulder. Berry:" Don't get worked up, Collie. Especially with little Pinchy around." Ruby Pinch:" Who was the guy, mama?" Colgate:" Just a lunatic, sweety. You don't want to get anywhere near them. You'll catch there crazy." Ruby:" Ok." ... Five minutes later, the filly did spill her drink. Colgate shrugged it off as a coincidence. Three minutes after that, the stallion's ketchup bottle did make a disturbing farting sound. Colgate began to become nervous, and levitated an empty food tray over her head out of paranoia. Ruby stared at her, confused. Ruby:" Mama, why are you floating that tray over your head?" Colgate:" Um... because... a hay buger might land on mama's head?" Ruby looked her other mom. She called Colgate mama, as well as she called Berry mommy. Berry:" Collie, I think it's just a bit of paranioa. Nothing will splat on your head." Colgate:" Well... I'd rather not take my chances. If this... Doctor is for real, than I don't want any food dangling in my mane." Berry just shook her head. Soon they were done eating, and nothing had landed on Colgate's head. Relaxed, and unconvinced, she set the tray back down. Colgate:" Pffft, time travel. What a bunch of plain rubbish." Berry:" See, I told you there was nothing to worry about." But just before they walked out the door, the waiter slipped, and a hay burger fell right on top of Colgate's mane. Everypony started laughing at her, and that was the final straw. Colgate, now embarrissed to death, ran out of the restaurant, and back home. When Berry and Pinchy got home, Colgate was crying on the couch. Berry:" Collie, are you alright?" Colgate:" I'm so sorry. I ruined our family day. Even while not in the dentistry I'm so unlucky." Berry wrapped her hooves around Colgate's neck in a hug. Pinchy nuzzled her mama's coat to cheer her up. Thanks to the comfort of her family, Colgate was feeling a lot better. Colgate:" Thank you you two. I feel so happy when you're around." ???:" Just as I intended." Everypony looked towards the Doctor, who was holding a cone of caramel ice cream. Berry:" Would you stop following us?" Doctor:" Oh, don't mind me. You see, most of this was mainly plot to get her to be better acquainted with her family. When I realized she was seeming distanced from being with her family, I did what I had to to get her to spend more time with them. So I kept jumping back and fowarth in time at the roight moments to do so." Colgate:" So the canites really weren't real?" Doctor:" Oh, no. Those were real. See they're microscopic parasites that... well you know, I already explained it to you." Colgate wiped her eyes. Colgate:" Th-thank you, Doctor. Thank you so much." Doctor:" It's just one of the many things I do miss... I never really got your name." Colgate:" Oh... it's Colgate." Doctor:" Colgate? You're named after a brand of toothpaste?" Colgate:" I'm a dentist." Doctor:" Oh. Say what is that glow in your bag?" Colgate pulled out the pocket watch. Colgate:" Just this thing. I've never really opened it, but it freaks me out." Doctor:" Wait, let me see that for a second." Colgate floated it over to the Doctor's hoof. Doctor:" Oh my... I think I know why. This is a fob watch, isn't it?" Colgate:" A what now?" Berry:" Um... how about we just put it away? Colgate really doesn't like to look at it." Colgate:" H-hold on, what's a fob watch?" Berry:" Collie, I don't think..." Doctor:" A fob watch is an ancient artifact of the time lords. A device that alters a time lord's memory, and gives them a different life as a normal human. Except in this universe there is ponies, so you'd turn into a normal pony." Berry:" That's enough! Give me that!" Berry snatched the fob watch away from the Doctor. The Doctor didn't even flinch though. Doctor:" You must have done something really terrible as a time lord. Something you didn't want to remember, so you put your memory into the fob watch, and altered your memory." Berry:" Shut up! Just shut up!" Colgate:" Berry... d-did you know about this?" Berry:" H-he's delusional remember? He's the crazy pony." Colgate:" Berry... give me the fob watch." Berry:" N-no... you told me never to let you open it." Colgate:" So you did know something about it." Berry:" I... yes... but you made me promise." Colgate:" Give it to me, Berry." Doctor:" Colgate, I don't think that is a good idea." Colgate:" I said give it!" Colgate telekinetically snatched it away from Berry, who was now pleading her not to open it. Pinchy just hid behind the coffee table, frightened by the conflict. Berry:" Collie, don't!" But it was too late. Colgate opened the fob watch, and she felt a terrible pain as the fob watch had began to turn her back to her normal self. Pinchy was crying at the sight of her mama's pain, and Berry was nearly in shock. Once the pain stopped, Colgate's memory and body were back the way they belonged. Berry:" C-collie? Are you ok?" Colgate:" I remember everything... I remember... My name isn't Colgate, it's... my name is Minuette. And that thing... that terrible thing I did..." Berry hoof punched the Doctor right in the nose. Berry:" This is your fault! If you hadn't told her what it was, this wouldn't have happened." Doctor:" I... I wasn't thinking." Berry:" No! You weren't! And now Col-... now Minuette has he memories back, little Pinchy is traimatized, and you've just made me angry! Get out! Get out of our house, right now!" The Doctor's ear flopped to the sides of his head. Now Berry's eyes were flowing tears. Minuette:" I-it's my fault." Berry:" Col-... I mean Minuette, no! It's not your fault dear." Minuette:" Yes it is... I was the one that did that horrible thing... I destroyed my planet. I destroyed Gallifrey." ... Minuette was in the park, sitting on a bench, alone. She insisted she wanted some time to herself. Meanwhile, she felt terribly guilty. She had destroyed her entire planet. The Doctor came over slowly. Doctor:" Hello Minuette." Minuette:" Hello Doctor." Doctor:" Mind if I sit down?" Minutte scooted just a bit so the Doctor could sit. Doctor:" So... there was a Gallifrey in this universe too, eh?" Minuette:" What do you mean." Doctor:" Well I'm from Gallicrey as well, but I'm from different universe." Minuette:" But that's impossible. To jump through universes like that would create a gap in the vortex barrier, causing chaos on both sides of the rift." Doctor:" Except when it happened, I was regenerating." Minuette looked suprised at that. Minuette:" I see. So while you were regenerating, you were healing the gap as you passed through, sealing the rift." Doctor:" Yes, exactly." Minuette:" I just... I wanted to clear myself of that memory. Destroying Gallifrey..." Doctor:" Time war?" Minuette, once again gave a shocked expression, then recognized the sad look on his face. Minuette:" I-it happened to you too... didn't it?" The Doctor smiled sadly. Doctor:" In each universe, there is likely to be at least one very similar event. However, I was able to stop myself from doing so, as a result, saving my Gallifrey. I'm sure that when the time comes... you will be able to do the same." The Doctor then frowned. Doctor:" Not now though, I'm afraid. There is a specific thing that has to rake place, a paradox that must happen. If it does happen, I'm not saying it will, but if it does, you will have a chance, a chance to save your Gallifrey." Minuette blinked away her tears, then wiped her face. Minuette:" So all I have to do is wait fir the roight moment?" Doctor:" I'm saying there is a chance that the right moment will happen. But if it does... I'll try to be there for you." Minuette hugged the Doctor, spontaneously. He was suprised at first, but then he hugged back. When they broke the hug, Minuette wiped away more tears. Doctor:" You have a briliant family. That's not something I can honestly say myself. The family I had is long gone. It's nothing I can change. I want you to stick with them, because you deserve to be happy, and so do they." Minuette:" Thank you, Doctor. Maybe some day, you'll even have a family of your own." The Doctor smiled. Doctor:" Maybe. I'd love to see that day." Minuette:" I should get back to them, and let them know I'm ok." Doctor:" Alroight then. I'll be going too. Got some things to do. Planets to save, races to rescue, all that." Minuette chuckled. Doctor:" What?" Minuette:" I'm starting to get the feeling you and I are nearly exactly alike. Do you ever travel with a companion?" Doctor:" I have quite a few of them now, actually. Derpy, Octavia..." Minuette:" I thought so. I traveled Berry of course before I turned normal. Well, see ya Doctor." Doctor:" See ya." ... When Minuette returned home, Berry hugged her. Minuette assured them that she was ok, and she had to explain a lot to little Pinchy. Pinchy felt a little more relaxed now that she new what was going on. Minuette was really happy now that she was spending time with her family, and she would be happy for many years to come. TO BE CONTINUED... Category:Content (Terrarian Pony) Category:Fanfictions Category:Fanfiction (Fanon) Category:Genre (Crossover)